When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
