Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
