She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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