I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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