WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
