How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
