it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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