Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
