there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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