can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
