shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
