Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
