i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
