Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize