I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
