No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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