So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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