That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
