Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
