come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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