I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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