Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
