Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
