when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
