Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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