So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
