I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
