I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
