A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
