Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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