tell your sister to shave her snatch
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
