oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
