you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
