Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Boobs are out for the taking
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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