And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
