she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
they need to just BURY HIM!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
