I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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