ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You're like the curious george of whores
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
