Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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