he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
