you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
