margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize