Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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