idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
