Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
