Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
