I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
As shirtless as possible
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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