why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
