I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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