I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
