it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
