singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Randomize