I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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