i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
