East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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