That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
