yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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