What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
