Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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