it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
