I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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