Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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