how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
