This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
