U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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