i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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