I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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