Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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